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Reality Fault

Realms: These Shattered Stars Logs

Chapter Eight, Part One

Once the two ships have coordinated on their intended locations, there's not much more for them to do but wait until arrival -- as is the nature of space travel. Unfortunately it was midday on Balmorra, and Freyja'd been mentally preparing for a fun celebration. Now she finds herself with lots of energy -- and nothing to do for the next 24 hours, until arrival at the Malice.

Freyja wanders restlessly around the Eclipse for a while, fussing with things. She checks the automatic watering system on her little flowering plants is working correctly; she verifies her clothing storage locker is indeed empty, due to her cleaning everything out for a good washing; she needlessly straightens some of the pillows and tapestries she had put up in her room for her paramours' enjoyment; she examines the kitchenette and finds everything is (unsurprisingly) just fine there too; she wanders into the hold and looks around.

The hold is as immaculately packed as everything else on the ship. Carefully labeled crates, sealed boxes, and air tanks are precisely where they should be, in exactly the numbers ordered. The hammock for Master Roakkana swings gently in place, with the colorful, thick Balmorran rug laid out neatly below it; the holoscan of Kashyyyk she'd ordered on the far wall is exactly where the Wookiee would see it upon awakening -- were he actually on board ship.

Freyja sighs, looking around. There's nothing for her to do. She feels unexpectedly awful.

"That's the upper forest layer. The katarn on my sword case is from that level." Zero sits on the end of the ramp leading back to the main area, legs stretched out in front of him. "But I don't think you came down here to admire the holography." He smiles a little. "You want to talk about it?"

Freyja looks over at Zero unsmiling, unconsciously fingering the edge of the hammock. "I... I don't know, Zero. I just... I feel... like... like I've been disconnected or something, you know?" She shakes her head, looking down at the hammock again, "I... wish... I wish we hadn't had to leave so fast."

Zero stands up slowly and pads softly over toward Freyja. He reaches up and gently touches her shoulder. "I know. I didn't want to leave either... not like that." He leans closer and gently embraces her from behind. "You seemed so much happier this time."

Freyja opens her mouth to say something -- then suddenly blinks, biting her lip and turning abruptly to hug Zero very tightly. Zero frowns, leaning back just a little. "Freyja? Did I say something wrong?"

Freyja just shakes her head, stepping forward to hug him again, as if she's afraid he'll just disappear also. When she finally speaks, her voice is slightly muffled against Zero... but it sounds like she's fighting tears too. "It's just... well, I was happy, you know? I mean... hai, I know it's silly, but it even seemed like my father -- my father! -- was a bit... well, proud of me! It was nice! There was going to be a party -- for me! Well, for me and Leif, but still... it was good! And now..." she straightens, sniffling and rubbing her nose, "-now... it's gone. Balin Khoud stole it from me."

Freyja is silent for a moment, then snaps in sudden, tearful heat, "Damn him for stealing my family from me like that! And damn that stupid Shadow Devil for fooling some poor naive Jedi into falling for it!" Then she sighs, rubbing her face, and shakes her head, "I... I'm sorry, Zero... I'm just not myself just yet..."

Zero shakes his head. He leans in and gently kisses Freyja's forehead. "No, it's okay... it's all right. You can let it out if you want to." He smiles a bit. "But don't worry, Freyja. Do you think that just because we had to leave it's all gone? Khoud hasn't stolen anything yet. Leif and your family are still going to be there when we come back. There's nothing we didn't create on Balmorra that the Shadow can destroy. You're always going to be the Lady. Your success in your family's eyes isn't diminished by absence, my bright one."

Freyja looks around, still looking a little shocky as she wipes tears off her face and murmurs, "I wanted it to be nice for Master Roakkana too. I thought maybe we could spend some time together again... I could show him what I've learned -- we all could -- and he'd smile that way that makes his whiskers all flick up -- you know how I mean?" She waves fingers around her face to show how they'd perk upwards, "and he'd say," she growls something which even Zero can tell is a truly horrendous rendition of 'Very nice, child,' in Wookiee.

Freyja sighs at her utter lack of Kashyyyk accent or tonality, then adds resignedly, "Well, you know what I mean. And..." she waves a hand, "the holoscan... I thought he'd like that, you know? And the c-carpet... so his toes w-wouldn't be on c-cold metal..." She blinks, her lips quivering, then suddenly throws her arms around Zero again and cries silently on his shoulder.

A moment later she wails miserably, "What if Balin Khoud hurts them, Zero?! What then? I'm not there -- I feel like it's all my fault!"

Zero hugs her tightly, "He won't. His puppet Calefactors aren't so strong that they can defy all the Jedi principles to get to us... they wouldn't dare commit a crime against the Republic itself just to hurt us. Remember, we aren't the only ones left who want to see the right things happen... there are still good people in the Republic. They'll be safe."

Freyja sniffles, rubbing her eyes with one hand even as she holds tightly onto Zero with the other. She nods firmly, trying to pull herself together again... then says uncertainly, "But... they tried to... to shoot Jedi Diath down..." She takes a deep breath, then straightens, "Neh. Neh, you're right, Zero... this isn't out on the far edges of known space, is it? They... they wouldn't. They wouldn't dare hurt my family to get at me... not with Master Roakkana and Jedi Diath there, right?"

She bites her lip nervously, thinking... then says wistfully, "'Bright one'... do you really think so, Zero? I... don't feel very Jedi-like at times like this..."

Zero gently squeezes his paramour in his arms. "I know I'm right. To act against Balmorra now would bring the scrutiny of the entire Republic on them. They can't afford it. They'd be cutting their own throats to let the Senate know they exist. Besides, one Jedi disappearing on the fringe... that happens. But the disappearance of a Jedi Master on a heavily populated Republic hub... they're not that stupid. The Order -- the ones that still have sense -- they would never let that go silently."

He smiles and gently kisses Freyja's eyes. "I do think so, Freyja. You're my light. As for feeling Jedi-like..." He smiles crookedly. "I don't think I ever did."

Freyja sniffles again, rubbing the last tearstains off her face with the edge of her sleeve, "That -- you're really sweet, Zeriza. Thank you. I..." she sighs, "I'm sorry I'm all falling apart here. I feel... kinda stupid, I guess." She hugs him again, slow and quiet, drawing reassurance from him, and murmurs softly and shyly, "Love you, sweetheart... you shine to me."

Zero rests his head against hers, and brushes his fingertips along her cheek. "I love you too, Freyja. Always will. I promise." She smiles softly, her half-closed eyes quiet, and just stands and hugs closely for a few moments.

Freyja finally sighs, although more with resignation than pain this time, and straightens, "There's... one other thing we need to talk about before we get to the Malice, Zero. I... need to apologize to you, Vakkal, and Fhazil about... well, about behaving irresponsibly regarding healing the Sith lord's blight." She smiles ruefully, letting one hand slide slowly down his back to take his hand, "Shall we go find them, to talk?"

Zero brushes a hand gently along Freyja's back, reassuringly. "You don't need to apologize to me, Freyja... I know you were doing what you thought was the right thing. But... sure. Come on, let's go find them."

Freyja smiles a bit self-consciously as she paces out of the hold with Zero, "Well, hai, I did think I was doing the right thing... but I didn't think first, you know?" She looks around for the other two.

Fhazil and Vakkal are both in the cockpit, maintaining the ship. "...understood, shuttle," Fhazil is saying. "We will adjust our relative speed appropriately." He leans back in the chair, glancing back and grinning. "Seems we're outpacing the Sith shuttle. They asked us to throttle back a little to let them catch up."

Freyja looks a bit surprised, "We are?" She considers a moment, then puzzledly asks, "How could a run-of-the-mill Republic ship be faster than a Sith high military command shuttle?"

Fhazil deadpans, "This isn't 'run of the mill.'"

Freyja tilts her head in confusion, "But... surely we didn't do that much adjustment... er..." She gives the three men a faintly suspicious, half amused look, "What have you three been up to?!"

Vakkal provides, "Above and beyond the tweaking of the hyperdrive, this class of courier is one of the faster ones, made for the Order. What it lacks in sheer power it makes up for in speed, speed, and a little bit more speed."

Zero grins, "This is a better ship in most respects than the average Republic cruiser -- by all counts. I asked for a few custom adjustments, but that's all, really... besides, the command shuttle is, after all, just a shuttle. It's designed as a short-haul hopper, not a distance machine."

Freyja considers that for several moments... then finally simply says, "Huh. Weird. I'd have thought the personal vessel of the Sith fleet commander would outstrip us in spades." She smiles, shrugging slightly, "Oh, well! Even if we can't vanish, we can go real fast. Better is better, right?"

Zero smiles. "I wouldn't agree to live in just any craft."

Freyja grins at Zero, her eyes finally starting to regain their usual brightness. A moment later she adds to them all, "Is the intercom off? Can we go to the common room? I, um... need to talk to you all for a moment, please?"

Fhazil adds, "The shuttle also has the cloaking device, which takes up a lot of mass, and it's armed and armored. It's made for assault landings, not long-range fast courier runs."

Freyja says, "Ah! All right, that explains a lot." As she heads for the common room, Freyja murmurs under her breath, "Would still love to get plans for that to the Republic, though..."

Fhazil says wryly as he follows, "Which is probably why only the Smiths on Korriban are allowed to build and repair them...."

Freyja grins cheerfully at Fhazil as she settles cross-legged on one of the couches, pulling off both her highly decorated formal boots and glittering silken outer coat. She takes a deep breath, then says, "All right. Basically, I wanted to apologize to you all... for leaping in to try something I wanted to do, without thinking it carefully through first."

Vakkal lifts his shoulders. "No worries, Freyja. I would have expected Lord Ghang to have a bit more control over himself."

Freyja sighs thoughtfully, then nods slowly, saying, "Well... that's sort of the problem, I think. See, it didn't even occur to me his, um... ego, his Sithstain? -whatever we call it -- it didn't occur to me it might actually attack me." She frowns, adding, "Worse, in retrospect I'm very shocked to remember how easily it evaded my mental dodge. All that training with Master Thann -- and it almost didn't even notice me! Or rather, notice my attempt to defuse the situation."

Fhazil shakes his head. "He's a Sith Lord, Freyja. Way more powerful than any of us individually."

Freyja shakes her head, "It was... I was really lucky, I think. If Zero'd not been there... well, it wasn't listening to reason, and I was... sort of mentally high, still, at successfully clearing away the blight. I wasn't in any sort of defensive mode at all. And... through my lack of preparation, I inadvertently placed both Vakkal and Noss in bad positions too. I'd have felt terrible if his Soulguard had been harmed to safeguard me -- when I was being an idiot!"

Zero folds his arms and leans against Fhazil's shoulder. "I wouldn't ask you for an apology, Freyja, unless I thought you didn't believe absolutely you were doing the right thing. You learned, right? That's what's important." Fhazil nods emphatically in agreement with Zero, who adds, "I got there in time; nobody was hurt. We'll handle it better next time."

Freyja nods gravely to Fhazil, "Hai... and he's far closer to trusting me than any other Sith lord is likely to be," then nods just as gravely to Zero, "I just wanted to apologize and let you know I won't make that mistake again. Trying to heal blight may make me feel virtuous, but it's not right to do when other folks are endangered by my actions. So... I don't think there should be a next time, Zero. It's just too dangerous. Sith lords don't truly want to be healed, if it necessitates letting a Lightsider so close."

Zero says, "If you feel that's how we should operate, then that's how we'll work." He smiles, "Do you feel better now?"

Freyja considers for a long moment... then sighs quietly, "I wish there was some way I could help blighted Sith... but I'm not willing to risk you three, myself, and any innocent bystanders to do so. I thought they'd be happy about it, but... well, all I got was fear -- astonishing, incredible amounts of fear! -- and anger from it." She looks a bit unhappy, "I don't understand... but I'm not them."

Freyja adds a bit wistfully, "At least I can keep us all blight-free... even if they won't let me help them."

Zero says, "We can't help everyone. Besides... understanding isn't going to come quickly, if it comes at all. For now... keeping the galaxy from setting itself on fire should be enough to keep us all busy." Freyja nods slowly. She still looks a bit unhappy... but she's already stated her issues, and there doesn't seem to be any way around them.


There is remarkably little to do when one is traveling in hyperspace... even less to do when one is traveling synchronized with another ship, and the other ship is, for the most part, doing all the navigation.

The long 'evening' shift has come. Zero has programmed the ship's interior lights to dim automatically at a preset interval, to help prevent jump-lag on long trips. The artificial night finds the triat entangled together on the low bed in Freyja's quarters, the room almost entirely dark, shrouded in the heavy Balmorran arras on the walls, filled with the heavy scent of flowers from the dark blue pot of plants set near to one wall. Closer to the bed a tiny pyramid of some fragrant incense from Sedrak smolders silently, leaving the room flooded with warmth and hazy fragrance.

Freyja sighs quietly, stretching slightly and luxuriating in the reassuring emotional and physical closeness of intertwined beloveds. Fhazil is awake; the other two can see his yellow eyes glinting faintly in the pseudo-night, not at all as reflective as a catta's. Though he shifts his position with the others as needed, he doesn't quite say anything yet.

Zero opens his eyes a little, after the silence stretches on for some time. He shifts a little, rolling onto his back. "Hey," he murmurs, glancing over at the other side of the bed. "Fhazil? Can I ask you something?"

"Mmm?" The Corellian lifts his head a little to look to Zero. "Of course."

Zero turns again, onto his chest, and folds his arms under his chin. "You don't have to answer, of course, but... I was just thinking about how much the three of us have had to give up for this endeavor. Personally... I didn't lose much of anything. I've always been a bit of a drifter -- but you two, well... do you ever miss Corellia?" Freyja is silent, listening thoughtfully as she draws her fingers slowly and caressingly along Fhazil's side, next to her.

Fhazil is quiet for a moment. "Corellia? Not really. Corellia, Sedonia, the whole small cluster of worlds... I don't miss them much. After I graduated and went into CorSec, I was never on Corellia for very long at any one time." His hand finds and gently entwines his fingers with Freyja's. "Ziost, now... that I've sometimes missed. It... became the place where I really felt like I'd started to live. And sometimes on cold nights I'll be reminded of it." He smiles a little in the darkness. "But to be honest...where you two are is my home. So no matter where I am, if you two aren't there.... I'll be missing home."

Freyja smiles quietly, bringing up Fhazil's hand to lightly brush her lips across it. Zero nods softly. "What was Ziost like?"

Freyja murmurs in quiet relaxation, "And how did you mean, start to live?"

He closes his eyes, making a soft, quiet sound. "Ziost... cold. Ice. Blizzards. Winter lasted a long time there. And the nights were especially dark. But to someone who could see in the Force, it was... warm. Bright. The people there lived. It wasn't like Coruscant, where you look out along the city and see a million or two people trudging along... and it wasn't just because most of the people who lived on Ziost were awakened to the Force, though maybe that's part of it."

Freyja's voice is soft with wonder, "A whole world of people awakened to the Force?" She falls silent, trying to imagine it.

He shakes his head. "Not everyone. That's what I mean. Not everyone was awakened to the Force, but everyone there... lives. More than the people who live in world-cities like Coruscant or megapoli on Corellia."

Freyja says, "What do you mean... 'lives'?" Her voice is quietly puzzled, "Can you show us?"

Zero mms. "I think I know what he means."

Fhazil considers for a moment, then smiles, and nods. "I'll try..."

The image is slow in coming; Fhazil is not quite adept at this sort of sharing of sensations. But there is first the sight of Coruscant, or a similar megapolis. It is somewhat dreary, perhaps colored by Fhazil's bias. There are people, hundreds of thousands of people, in airspeeders and on walkways making their way to work or school or home or wherever.

Freyja nods mentally, watching interestedly. This she's familiar with. Zero finds it brings back memories of a bare room in a low-altitude block and long hours staring at the ceiling. Freyja quietly offers Zero a warm mental hug as she watches and catches that thought also.

Zero moves closer to Freyja, body and soul, and thinks with some irony he may have illustrated Fhazil's point somewhat. Freyja's mental grin is a little sheepish -- that's not a part of those worlds she's much familiar with. Her traveling companions were such as to preclude that... but she comfortably and happily accommodates Zero snuggling closer.

This is contrasted by the next image Fhazil sends, which is of a terribly cold, snow-driven city that seems one part belowground and one part stone spires with sealed windows. Within that city there is life, but of a decidedly different sort that Fhazil sees in a megapolis.

Life here is hard, but it is lived well and lived expansively. Emotions run strong -- moments of anger flare but are just as quickly replaced by joviality, eagerness, and other emotions. It is not a virtue here to be reserved, unless it is to control the power that awakening to the Force brings. Instead of blustering and shouting, what brings a threat more tangible is the utter lack of such outbursts. But even this is rare, except in the cold towers where the Sith lords reside. Within the warmer depths of the city life is lived -- and not desperately, but fully.

Freyja 'watches' in quiet fascination, one hand lightly and gently stroking along her lovers' side as she tries to understand. Surely the kurasai will be kurasai, neh matter where one lives? What makes these different, to Fhazil's eyes? Zero smiles a little. "Mm. It's funny... I have the same thoughts about my homeworld, Fhazil."

Freyja murmurs slowly in thought, As do I... in a way. The cold reserve of the aristoi isn't how the kurasai live, I know... Her mental voice trails off as she continues to carefully examine the memory-picture Fhazil's sending, trying to see differences.

The flow of images slows, then stops. "That's... really the best way I can put it, I'm afraid," Fhazil says. "But I guess you guys understand what I meant already..."

Zero says, "I think he means that people there live their lives instead of floating through it from day to day. Living in a place like Coruscant can do that to you."

Freyja nods to Zero, although she doesn't really understand. Instead she whispers softly, "I hope someday we can go there, to Ziost, Fhazil. I'd like to see your home... it means a lot to you, I can see."

Fhazil smiles quietly in the night. "I hope I can show both of you Ziost, someday. Maybe when this war's over..." he is thoughtful for a moment, then says, "Normally, I get... antsy... with being in a confined space for too long -- Coruscant, the Pinnacle, Seldonia Down. But not here, of course. And... not there."

Zero smiles a little and nuzzles along the edge of Freyja's ear. "I'll explain it to you later, lover." He tilts his head a bit. "Are you claustrophobic, Fhazil?"

Freyja gently runs her fingers through Fhazil's silvery hair, smiling as she remembers the terribly earnest little Watcher. Then she grins at Zero's comment, turning to kiss the tip of his nose... then laying her head back so he can continue what he's doing.

Fhazil gives a soft chuckle. "Kind of, yes. Sometimes I try to use that, though. The... you know, the Darkside thing. Use your fear as a weapon in your arsenal. I can spend a few days in a small area, but after a while I get cabin fever badly. If it's in a battle, I can use that. If it's not... it's a little harder. But not here... I don't feel like the walls are holding me in here. With you two... it's more like there doesn't have to be walls ever again."

Freyja smiles in quiet contentment, letting her fingers trail along the edge of Fhazil's ear -- she thinks that's a lovely sentiment! "Do you know why you don't feel it in Ziost, sweetheart? Maybe we can use that to help you if you're ever someplace where it's giving you trouble?"

He shakes his head quietly. "I.. don't really know why. It might be... on Coruscant people just drift, they just... go to one place, do their thing, go to another place, do more of their thing. In the Pinnacle I was just meat. On Ziost... everyone was just so alive it didn't matter. The walls there... it's like they didn't exist."

Zero laughs softly. "Meat. That expression brings back memories. I guess prisons are prisons no matter what world you're on."

Freyja winces mentally at the phrase 'just meat' -- that's icky to her! She gives Fhazil a warm mental hug, as much reassurance for her that he's there, as for him that he's not 'just meat.' Then she sighs softly again, in quiet wonder. A world full of the Force-awakened... what an extraordinary thought! Would they instantly know her for a Lightsider and Jedi? Would she be shunned for that, or refused landing permission?

Freyja frowns quietly, remembering the Sithstain hydra. Despite her constant and truthful reassurances, it'd never listened to her. If that's how someone who had reason to trust her reacts... she guesses it would be wisest to simply assume the majority (if not all) on Ziost would react with fear and loathing to her.

Freyja sighs quietly again, disappointed. She'd had such hopes for healing blight... she turns her face against Fhazil's hair and puts an arm around Zero... and lets her thoughts drift into pure sensation instead of rational thought.

Zero brushes a hand gently up and down Freyja's stomach, the way she's done for him when he's had nightmares. "I was telling Freyja, you know... if you'd asked me before we left for Marnaas that this is where we'd be now, I'd have told you to cut back on the glitterstim."

Fhazil blinks, then laughs. "It does seem weird, after what happened two years ago, to be here now." Freyja giggles in spite of herself, muffled in Fhazil's hair.

Zero nods. "It feels like a long time ago, now."

Freyja turns her head, grinning as she brushes hair from her face, "Marnaas? Oh, my... I was sure you were both insane, definitely!" She giggles again.

Zero says, "What, me? What did I do?"

Freyja laughs, her eyes bright in the dim light, "The dread Quiet? Did you have to do anything, with a reputation like that?" She giggles again, lightly brushing one slender fingertip across his jaw line.

Zero tchs and smiles, nuzzling into her neck. "I just got that from letting Argent do all the talking. I wasn't so scary." He grins, "Was I?"

Fhazil grins. "Hey... between the two of you it was enough to make me wary. Well, as wary as a Sith gets."

Freyja laughs, quiet and comfortable, "Well, neh. You felt more... more alone than scary, to me." She smiles in warm memory, "It was nice to feel you slowly relaxing... made me feel like maybe I was helping a little." Then she laughs again, "Wary? Good gracious, this from a man who tried to do a back flip over a Jedi-filled speeder -- while shooting at it?!"

Zero grins, "You know, I fully intended at the time to put you through the windscreen."

"Well, you saw I wasn't exactly going into that house with all due caution!"

Freyja grins quietly, remembering, "It was the eyes, for me. Vakkal had that same sort of look in his eyes... like... umm..." she considers, trying to pick a good descriptive, "Well... like your lift wasn't going all the way to the top?" She giggles, "All right, not the best phrase to use!"

Zero smirks, "You might want not to say that while we're in bed, love."

Freyja giggles again, her cheeks flushing, then grins, gently poking Zero in the side with one slender finger. "Hmf. You know what I mean, though, don't you?" Curiously she asks Fhazil, "Is that due to the Battlemind?"

Fhazil grins. "I know. But the true Sith Battlemind doesn't leave much in its wake. Besides, better the mad fool who can still evaluate the situation and alter the plan. I got out of there pretty quickly when you pointed that blaster at me, Freyja."

Freyja grins, blushing more, "Hai, well, um... I couldn't think of anything else to do?" She adds cheerfully, "At least I didn't have to actually shoot!"

Zero says, "I would have."

Freyja grins mischievously at Zero, "That's why I had the really big blaster!" She grins again, "Well, neh... truth be told, I think I had it because I really didn't want to go hand to hand with a better-trained Sith apprentice." Dryly she adds, "Neh fool, I..."

Zero says, "Tch. Size is all that matters to you. No wonder you were paying attention to me when I had the larger saber."

Freyja gasps in mock outrage, "Oh! You fiend!" and cheerfully rolls over on him, tickling him gleefully, "I'll show you size, you!"

Zero mmfs and nearly falls off his side of the bed. "Gah! Fhazil, help!"

Fhazil laughs uproariously. "Why? You brought it on yourself with that 'larger saber' comment!"

Freyja giggles, her long hair falling forward to inadvertently tickle Zero's face as well. Zero thuds onto the pillows strewn on the floor, "Heartless bastard!"

Freyja catches herself at the edge of the bed, swaying slightly and still giggling, "Oh, sure, run away!"

Zero sits up at the edge of the bed, catching his breath, "Where's the compassion? I ask you."

Freyja sits up and tosses her head, her hair flying back in a gleaming scarlet swirl. She grins, eyes alight with mischief, "Uhm... I ate it?" She covers an amused snort with one hand.

Zero hmphs. "I'll bet." He climbs carefully back onto the bed and rolls his shoulders. He grins over one shoulder at the others, "You two are ruthless. And I'm supposed to be the dangerous one?" He smirks.

Fhazil grins, rolling over to rest his head at the end of the bed Zero fell off of. "Hey, we have to balance you out somehow..." Freyja laughs again, leaning back comfortably against Fhazil and cheerfully baring her teeth in a big grin at Zero.

Zero laughs and nudges Fhazil's shoulder. "Oh, that's the excuse, is it?"

Fhazil grins up to Zero and nudges back lightly. "Yes, that's the excuse! And I'm sticking to it!"

Zero grins and shakes his head. He reaches over and musses Fhazil's hair. "Fine, fine, I know when I'm outnumbered."

Freyja grins quietly, then rolls her eyes exaggeratedly, "Graysiders... can't live with 'em, can't... um... figure out how big they are?" She giggles in spite of herself again.

Zero smirks, "I can think of a few ways to fix that problem."

Fhazil mmphs! with the hair mussing, then at Freyja's remark lifts up his head a bit to peer at -- or rather down at -- Zero. "I don't know, Freyja, looks like you can figure out pretty well at this angle....

Freyja laughs, then throws her hands up, "Wait, wait, let's not go there!" She grins amusedly, "You're both teases, you know that?"

Fhazil grins to Freyja, leaning his head on his arm. "She thinks we're both teases, Zero. We'd better practice more just to make sure."

Zero snickers softly. "Oh, sure, quit as soon as Fhazil's backing me up. I see how this is." He nods to Fhazil, "I agree entirely."

Freyja giggles again, lightly running her fingers across Fhazil's hair where it lies across her arm, and smiles with quiet happiness, "Mm... I think you're both doing wonderfully."

The lovers practice a little more, shifting from thought-form to body-form and back as they twine themselves together, the triat bond ever deeper and more entangled between them. The evening cycle wears on, and the little pyramid of Sedraki incense burns lower. Eventually the room is silent but for the sound of breathing, and dark but for the remains of the pyramid; three bright embers stubbornly refusing to admit the vaster dark.


It is later in the timeless passing of hyperspace, and Freyja and Zero have concluded a strenuous workout. Freyja's still flushed from effort and panting lightly, pushing a few escaping wisps of curls back. Her Padawan's braid does double duty as a restraint for the mass of her fiery golden mane, letting it tumble down her back in shining waves but keeping it out of her face... mostly. She grins at her brother Padawan, her blue eyes bright, "So... am I getting a little better at the dodge and blending now, d'you think?"

Zero smiles and sits up a little from where he sits on the floor, sweating heavily still. As the 'aggressor' for Freyja's defensive practice, he exerts himself rather hard; overextending himself, as always, for the sake of his partner. He brushes back his hair from his eyes, wild from the activity. "Better," he breathes, "Better, definitely. We'll have to see if we can find you some texts on the 'sliding hands' style, when we have a chance. I think it would be a good addition to your repertoire."

Freyja nods thoughtfully, stretching her long bare golden legs out in front of her and leaning back on her hands, "It does sound much like some of the things Master Thann taught me. I'd be interested in comparing notes, to see how similar they are." She grins again, her eyes alight with the enjoyment of learning, "Things like that always make me wonder... did they develop similarly in different places, or did they have a common ancestry?"

Zero says, "Well, you know the saying: all things exist in the Force."

Freyja pauses, then says slowly, "Hai... so they do." She's silent a moment, then looks up at Zero, her gaze both thoughtful and distant, "Zero... is it just me or... or were there some extremely odd things that happened at Balmorra before we left?"

Zero stands up and stretches, arms over his head. He passes himself through a brief series of Teras Kasi animal forms: Rancor, Katarn, Bantha. He pauses, arms extended one over the other with hands open, fingers extended in the spirit of a rancor's crushing jaws. "Do you mean before or after the Sith Lord, the psychic intrusion by Force-seers, and the realization that Balin Khoud is the Shadow Devil?"

Freyja grins -- then sits up, counting on her fingers, "Khoud arriving without warning -- any warning! Why was there no news of his leaving Coruscant? That should have arrived well before him. The Bloodeagle arriving while theoretically chasing Jedi Diath, but being completely ready to demand our surrender, on the Knight-Cardinal's orders -- whoever that might be. The entire Balmorran council not only not being fazed by the disappearance of Count Miz... but calmly accepting Master Roakkana's suggestion the peace talks be instantly moved to Tanaab -- because of Khoud's arrival?! That, er... 'august' group can't agree on what to order for lunch without hours of argumentation!"

Zero hms. "Well, it's entirely possible they've been doing business on the sly with the Empire and thought the game was up when Khoud arrived?"

Freyja looks up thoughtfully at Zero and adds, "I'm not sure Khoud's the Shadow Devil's patsy, actually. I think it was someone on Bloodeagle... who might also be the Knight-Cardinal. If the Knight-Cardinal were Khoud, that'd be all over the news, you know?"

Zero says, "Yes, but theoretically, Khoud's departure from Coruscant should have made some news as well. Anyway, I'm just as likely to be wrong as right. We're missing several large pieces of our puzzle."

Freyja says, "Exactly. I'm really quite puzzled... something is seriously amiss if news is being withheld like that. And the Ophics..." she shakes her head in exasperation, "What were they thinking?! Saying nothing but 'run' like that, at the last moment... for heavens' sake, they're farseers -- call earlier, you know?!"

Zero smiles, "I suppose we should be pleased they called at all." He rises up on one foot, arms raised, fingers curled into claws. "If that's what they did. Honestly, from what I was able to see the Holonet just doesn't work that way. I'd love to know how they did it."

"Well..." Freyja tilts her head, thinking, then says slowly, "What exactly did they say, Zeriza? Was there more?"

Zero smiles a little. "Only enough to let me know they know who I am, before giving their directive to skip the planet." He turns, changes stances, hands describing an open-palmed 'pushing' gesture. "It wasn't what they said so much as how they said it... it shouldn't have been possible to maintain a real-time full-motion Holonet signal like that all the way from Ossus to Balmorra -- not with the equipment we have."

Freyja sighs, stretching, "Well, I'm glad you understood what they meant. If they'd said nothing but 'run' to me, I'd have held fast until I knew more precisely what they meant." Exasperatedly she adds, "Wolf-feathers, what kind of a directive is that, anyway? Run in circles? Run to the hunting estate, run to the Council in town, to the Order on Coruscant, to -- to what?! I had neh idea what they meant!"

Zero shakes his head, finally completing his forms. He takes off his sash, carefully untying the knot. "I had a... feeling. I guess you could say I felt a disturbance?" He smiles ruefully, "How cryptic that sounds. It's equally possible I jumped to what happened to be the correct conclusion."

Freyja blinks at her companion... then giggles, "Well, I guess that shows they spoke to the right person then, hai?" She bounces lightly to her feet, no longer panting, and holds out a hand to him with a grin, "Want to shower, then get some hot tea?"

Zero smiles and nods. He slips his split-socks off his feet and takes Freyja's hand. "Or what passes for a shower on board ship. Lead on."

It is in the sonic shower, as Freyja's running her fingers through her hair to be sure it all gets clean, that she slowly murmurs, "Zero... you never answered. Is it just me, or did the things I mentioned previously on Balmorra seem somewhat odd to you too?"

Zero leans back a bit against the wall and folds his arms, thinking. "Well... I hadn't thought of the Council angle. I don't really know them, so it didn't occur to me. Although it's entirely possible they simply took the advice of Master Roakkana implicitly. He is, after all, a powerful Jedi." He grins, then laughs suddenly, "Maybe the Master used the Mind Trick on them!"

Freyja rolls her eyes in amusement behind the thick curtain of hair she's working her fingers through, slowly and systematically, "'Eyy... don't even joke about that, sweetheart -- they'd have such an autumlas if they thought that!" She grins wryly, adding, "Collectively... and sideways!"

Zero smiles wryly, "That would be a sight to see." He folds his arms again behind his head, leaning back and letting the sonic shower work its way over his skin. He watches Freyja as she tends her hair, just appreciating the line and curve of her form.

Freyja has gotten her thick mane back under control again, almost. She's got her head tossed back and her eyes closed, pushing her hair back so it's all smoothly tumbling down her back, "It just seems... odd. I mean, somehow Khoud keeps us from knowing he's coming -- but equally swiftly, Master Roakkana gets things moved elsewhere -- because Khoud's arrival is a breaking of the peace terms! That one made me blink... Khoud's the Order's liaison with the Republic military, after all, so why would his presence be out of order, when the other side has their primary general there?" She puts her hands on her golden hips and looks to Zero with an almost exasperated expression, "It's like the Force was whispering to them, or something... whispering not to trust Khoud and not to worry about the vanishing of two of their most influential members -- Kalatis and Count Miz! Doesn't that seem just a little odd otherwise, to you?"

Zero deadpans, "The Master isn't the only one that knows how to change your mind for you."

Freyja goes back to running her hands over her skin, to get clean a little faster, "And then the sabers scream, and Kawatuara says Shadow Devil's coming -- just as the military ship

Freyja says, "military ship pops in -- and it just knows somehow we're there? How could it -- unless Shadow Devil's on it?" She turns to add almost triumphantly, "And that'd explain their even knowing to ask us to surrender on the orders of the Knight-Cardinal -- it was on that ship!" She beams at Zero, "What do you think? Does that make... umm..." she blinks, tilting her head, then grins a bit, "What? Why are you staring?" She looks down at herself, wondering if she's missed something on herself."

Zero blinks. "Huh? Staring?" He pauses. "Was I staring?"

Freyja studies Zero for a moment with a faintly bemused look -- then suddenly giggles. She swings her hips in a slow, sensual dance movement, her eyes sparkling with teasing delight, "Maybe just a little?"

Zero smirks and unfolds his arms. "If you keep doing that, Freyja... I shall dive on you."

Freyja laughs! -then continues to wash up. Over her shoulder she teases, "You say that like it's a bad thing?"

Zero leans back again, tipping back his head to let the sonic vibration work its way down his face and chest. "I don't recall getting any complaints in recent memory."

Freyja giggles again with quiet happiness. After making sure her face is clean, she adds curiously, "Seriously, though, Zeriza... did what I said make sense? It... well, I keep feeling like we're missing something dreadfully important, you know? The events of the last few days keep running through my head over and over, as if I'm missing some critical clue."

Zero sighs a bit. "Honestly... it makes as much sense as anything thing about that fiasco did. I knew the Shadow Devil was there; Kuwatuara could feel it in the direction of the ship... not that it was easy to pick the sensation out of the wave of revulsion. It doesn't seem right for a thing with no life to be able to feel so much disgust. But -- anyway. I haven't been thinking about it... mostly I've been thinking of contingency plans. I'm constantly worried now something will happen at Tanaab. Or worse, someone has figured out how the Sith gravity well traps work and reverse engineered one... then we'd be well and truly out to dry."

Zero says, "You know, I'd feel better if it had been any ship but the Bloodeagle. I'm worried some of our former comrades from Sedrak might be thrown against us. I really don't relish the idea of having to fight Dakk, or any of the others we met back there."

Freyja nods, "The Order already has the gravity well generator, we know, since Diana stole one to get Valsha back. Also..." she pauses, glancing over her shoulder at Zero again and says with soft concern, "Should we tell Lord Ghang there may well be an entire Mandalorian strike team after him?" She goes back to washing, but Zero can still hear the concern in her voice, "I'm worried, Zero. Just how much are we to help the Empire? You always do your job well -- you don't let Light or Dark get too overwhelming. Fhazil did his job by bringing a little Dark to the Republic -- he told the Watchers about the Calefactors."

Freyja says, "So..." she sighs, rubbing one arm distractedly, "...so... what's my job? All I know is I'm supposed to bring Light to the Empire... but every time I've tried it's not worked out."

Zero says, "For now, perhaps just making sure Ghang stays alive to try to moderate the views of the Empire is all we can do."

Zero says, "I'd say that includes telling him the Mandalorians are out there someplace. Although... they weren't terribly pleased to hear about Khoud's manipulation, when I spoke to one on Balmorra."

Zero says, "They don't break contracts, but they don't respond well to betrayal either."

Freyja nods slowly, her demeanor still worried. Zero's words make sense, but she doesn't yet have that feeling of 'rightness,' when she just knows she's on the right track as far as the will of the Force. She sighs softly, "Well... I wondered about that too, actually. But I figured better to warn him and have them not turn up, than the reverse, you know?"

Zero says, "Where a force as dangerous as a Mandalore hit squad is concerned, better safe than sorry, always. They don't always give you time for the sorry part."

Freyja nods a little grimly, "Hai, there is that... especially since I'm going to guess the folks around Tanaab aren't exactly going to have the red carpet out for the Sith when we arrive anyway."

Zero says, "Tanaab is going to be... complicated."

Zero sighs a bit and rolls his eyes. "But when has anything ever been simple for us?"

Zero grins crookedly, "We can't even fall in love simply."

Freyja thinks a bit, then says slowly, "When we get there... would it be possible for you to slice into the planet's holonews? We really, really need more information on what's happening -- and has happened already on Balmorra and Coruscant." She blinks at Zero, then giggles at his last comment.

Zero nods, "Yeah. Given a little time to myself, I can do that. I was going to suggest it myself but--" He smiles, "I think sometimes your thoughts and mine, and Fhazil's, slip into each others' heads."

Freyja grins quietly at that, "Hai... kind of nice, in a way, I think." She's silent for a moment, her face half hidden by the soft curtain of fiery gold hair... then she looks up at Zero, brushing her hair behind her ear. Her eyes are bright with happiness, "Hai... but I think it's worth it, don't you? True, it's not always simple... but we're slowly getting better at it, don't you think?"

Zero smiles gently. "It's never easy, but always worth it."

Freyja's slow, small smile reflects the emotions Zero can feel drifting through her mind. She's worried about doing her part in the triat, and uncertain as to why she's not more 'sure' in the Force currently as to what her duties should be... but with such staunch and steady beloveds, she's willing to do her best to be strong until she finds out -- and once she knows, she'll do her best to fulfill that destiny with them.

Zero steps forward and curls his arms gently around Freyja. "You know you don't have to worry, Freyja. Just let things happen as they will. The Force will make its will known to us one way or another... we just need to be sure we're listening when the time comes."

Freyja sighs, relaxing slightly as she hugs Zero warmly back. He can feel her hair brushing softly against his skin as she nods a bit, "Hai, I know." She sighs again, her breath warm against him, and adds more dryly, "Well... I know intellectually. Emotionally... I want to know, so I can get on with it!" She smiles faintly, "Not very patiently Jedi-like, I suppose..."

Zero smiles a bit, running his hands gently, soothingly along her back. "It's why I'm here, lover. I'll help you keep your balance."

Freyja sighs again, letting herself concentrate with quiet pleasure on the gentle physical sensations. Softly she murmurs, "I'm very glad you're here, sweetheart... you really do help me keep my balance, you know..."

Zero bends his head to murmur gently in Freyja's ear. "It's the least I can do, my lovely one. You helped me find mine, all those months ago."

Freyja is silent for a moment, thinking... then curiously asks, "How do you mean, Zeriza?" A moment later she looks around the little boxy room, and grins, "And... would you like to go cuddle in bed, maybe?"

Zero raises his head and smiles, "Have I ever said no to that question?"

Freyja's laugh is quietly rippling, as carefree as running water, and she lets one hand slide to about Zero's waist, opening the shower door with the other. Her tone is gently teasing, "It's one of the charmingly predictable things about you, sweetheart, hai?" She grins as they stroll towards her room, adding, "I'll get our stuff later."

Zero smiles and lets himself be led, bare footfalls silent on the floor.

Freyja pauses only long enough to collect some nice hot tea and mugs, and then the two of them curl up together in the large bed, under warm covers and with hot tea. Freyja has some nice rhythmic Balmorran music playing quietly in the dim room, and by candlelight her golden skin glows almost as much as her hair shimmers with fire. She smiles at Zero, her eyes bright, "So... how did I help you with balance, Zeriza?"

Zero lies curled loosely against Freyja's side, his head against her shoulder. He closes his eyes and smiles, "I was barely a person when you found me, Freyja... very much a ghost of a long-gone war." He nuzzles gently against her neck, kissing softly. "Any light that I may have had in my thoughts... of doing the right thing for the Republic, was shadowed over by letting Kalatis manipulate me. I didn't have any feelings, to speak of... just cold and lonely and bitter."

Freyja nods slowly, thinking as the fingers of one hand lightly brush through Zero's hair, "Hai... I could feel that in you, even though I wasn't sure at all you wanted it to be recognized... that cold and empty loneliness..." She's silent for a moment, quietly enjoying sensation, then turns her head to lightly kiss Zero's head and murmur against his moon-white hair, "I'm glad you let me in... let us all in, my heart..."

Zero sighs softly and gently hugs Freyja against him. "I am too. I suppose at the time I didn't want it to be recognized... It isn't always easy to acknowledge when you've wasted a part of your life. Or that you might just be pretty badly torn up inside."

Freyja smiles quietly, her arms holding him warm and close, "Wasn't wasted, beloved... was all part of the healing, I'd think, neh? You were still just a child when you left home, after all." She gently nuzzles his hair again, adding with soft pleasure, "I'm just glad I was able to help a little. I didn't know if I could... but I knew if you wanted I was willing to try." She grins, adding, "Although I had neh idea it'd turn out like this!"

Freyja sing-songs softly, her lips brushing lightly against his hair,
"The strong don't seek the freedom
which is nothing left to lose.
They seek to own their life which
is guided by what they choose.
The strong take back the right
to choose for themselves.

You want to know the depths
of your own strength?
Feel the sun through
your window every morning
And rise from your bed.
Get out of your house
and choose your direction
Put your mind to the task
like your shoulder to a wheel
and do not stop for anything.

Do not allow yourself
to become compromised
but do not allow yourself
to become too rigid.
Because this is not the strength
of the destructive closed fist.
This strength is the open hand of
self-determination, self-assertion.
Be sure of your purpose
and confident of your success.

Do not visualize the shining glory
of the crown you grasp for
But feel the stretching of your arm
as you reach for it nonetheless.

Know the glory of your strength
Resides in your arm, not the crown."

Zero laughs softly, nuzzling again at Freyja's neck. "I was mortified when you said I was your first, you know? I was sure I wasn't a good enough lover for that." He smiles, listening to her speak. "That's very lovely, Freyja."

Freyja grins, then mischievously nips Zero's ear at his comment regarding mortification!

Zero mmfs! He grins and nibbles along her shoulder. "It's true. I wanted it to be wonderful for you." He grins, "Better than my first time, anyway."

Freyja laughs softly, her eyes bright with happiness, "'Good enough'?! You are so silly, pretty man... you even worried I wouldn't like the way you looked, didn't you?" She chuckles quietly, running her fingers lightly along his skin. "Hai, you were wonderful... you both were," her tone gets gently teasing, "-even though I'm fairly sure I shouldn't have to drag you both off to bed ordinarily, hai?"

Zero smiles, "We beat you to it a few times."

Zero blushes explosively at the word 'pretty,' despite himself.

Freyja giggles, "True, once we all realized none of us were going to have an autumlas about it." She's silent for a moment, just enjoying the warm sensation of her lover's skin against hers, then says with quiet reflection, "The poem's title is 'Strength.' I've never heard the composer bard perform it, but it sang to me all by itself when I found it the first time... and I thought it appropriate, neh?"

Zero nods. "It's something I suppose we all should consider, in times such as this. Whether we succeed or fail, we did what we thought was the right thing."

Freyja smiles, "Hai, there is that -- to cleave to what we believe is right." She's silent for a while, thoughtfully nuzzling against Zero's hair... then with gentle mischief she adds, "And you are pretty, silly. You have lovely hair and pretty eyes and you move well and you feel so nice!"

Zero's skin grows perceptibly warmer against Freyja's. He smiles, burying his face against her shoulder, "I'm glad, Freyja... that's really good to hear. Especially coming from the most beautiful woman I've ever known."

Freyja laughs softly, her thoughts as warmly affectionate as they are also gently teasing, "Hai, well, it took me a long time to believe that too, so I shan't complain." She leans back a bit so she can see Zero's face and adds with quiet firmness, "It's only the truth, though, beloved. You seemed to think your face was it -- was as far as people could see in you." She tilts her head a bit, her warmly glowing eyes smiling, "Surely you realized there was so much more to you, though, dearling? You wore your heart on your sleeve, in a way. You may have been damaged some by life, but you were still a beautiful heart waiting to be cherished, to bloom." She considers a second, then says slowly, "Does... that make sense?"

Zero thinks about that for a while. Finally he nods, once, before pressing in against Freyja's side again. "It does," he murmurs, very softly. "They're the words I wanted to hear, but... maybe I was just waiting for the right person to say them." He smiles against her shoulder. "What made you want to try? I was... pretty distant to you."

Freyja can feel a little moisture against her shoulder, where Zero's cheek rests against her. She smiles quietly, holding him close -- then grins a little ruefully at his question. Her eyes are distant with memory as she gently strokes Zero's hair, giving him time to relax against her, "Well, to be honest I wasn't really sure myself." She falls silent for a while, considering, then says slowly, "I... just reacted the way that felt right, I guess? It was... like a partnership first, where you owe your partner truth... and then it developed into friendship and respect... and then I started to feel these little flashes sometimes. Not steadily, and I wasn't always sure I wasn't just imagining it... but... well, it was like you were very, very carefully, non-consciously asking for a bit more closeness." She falls silent again, considering her words, then says a bit puzzledly, "That... sounds so wyrding, spoken aloud. Um... does it make sense, I hope?"

Zero laughs softly, though he doesn't move or raise his voice above a murmur. "It does. It sounds exactly like the sort of backwards thing I would do." He gently brushes a hand up and down along Freyja's side. "I think unconsciously I was. You were the first person in a long time that I felt I could trust completely... maybe I just wanted that, at first. But it just... I don't know. It felt right, as things progressed. The first time I held you, on Sedrak..." He sighs softly and smiles, remembering. "I wanted that to go on forever."

Freyja smiles, remembering that golden moment, lying on the sun-warmed rock with the gentle laughter of running water all around them, "It was nice, hai. I remember thinking it was nice you didn't go all googgley-eyed when I dressed like the native women... made me feel comfortable with you." She grins, adding, "It was flattering when Jedi Diath did that... but it wasn't just... nice, you know?"

Zero mmms. "Maybe it was just because I felt more familiar with you. And you seemed so happy, I didn't want you to be uncomfortable with that."

Freyja smiles with quiet happiness, hugging gently along the length of her lover, and says simply, "I wasn't. It was lovely."

Zero mms softly, his arms curled gently around his partner's waist, and nods, "Good. I remember being so pleased that you enjoyed my homeworld so much. That mission turned a great many things around for me... just to see it doing so well after the war... but also seeing you so relaxed. You were so happy, after you'd seemed so strained, on Balmorra... I was glad to have brought you someplace where you felt at home."

Freyja nods quietly, "Hai, it did feel really good." She's silent for a moment, then says with slow wonder, "Home. Homey... hai, that's it. That's what it felt like. How... odd... I've been starting to feel comfortable neh matter what planet..." Her voice trails softly off as she thinks... then she says quietly, "Ah. Home... hai, I understand now. Home... it really is where your Family of the Heart is, isn't it?"

Zero nods gently, and leans in to brush his lips across hers. "Wherever you feel safe, comfortable, loved... it so happens that we most often feel all of those things with each other."

Freyja nods quietly, softly returning the gesture. Zero can feel her gentle, determined thought, though... they've learned so much, felt so much, been so comfortable finding their respective homes, both internal and physical. They need to be sure they help Fhazil that way too -- get him to his own personal home on Ziost at some point, so he can heal and learn more too, just as they have.

Zero agrees. Perhaps confronting the places from which they come is the best way for them to find the way to their future together, he thinks.

Freyja nods quietly, although her thoughts are becoming more strongly flavored with emotion as she savors the sweet, gently loving sensations from her beloved. She wraps herself around him like a warm blanket of fire, both within the Force and without. Like dancing flames they swirl and mingle together, lifting each other higher and higher as they reach for the Lady's blessing.

Zero draws in his breath softly, feeling his lover moving to envelop him... he closes his eyes, letting himself drift around and through her, relaxing his grip until he can no longer feel 'himself,' only the two of them joined as closely as they can be, drifting in and out of one anothers' consciousness.


They will be arriving at the Malice either late that day or early the next; most likely it will be early morning the following day. For the time being Fhazil is sitting in the pilot's couch, watching the console and the streaking tunnel of hyperspace outside. Zero flips through a small book, sitting in the navigation seat. He yawns quietly. "Well... this brings back memories."

Fhazil glances back. "Hmm? What kind of memories?"

Zero closes his book. "Drifting, after the war. Just going from place to place. Long, long, long hours in hyperspace. Nothing to do. I turned twenty, won my first sabacc hand, and lost my virginity all in hyperspace. Not necessarily on the same jump, mind you."

Fhazil says dryly, "I was going to say hyperspace journeys can be long -- but that would have had to have been a really long one. To win your first sabaac hand, I mean." He adds this with that tone of voice that says it's exactly what he means, but there's some light teasing in there as well.

Zero says, "Right. So let's go do something. I'm starting to think I can feel myself burning lean tissue from doing nothing."

The Corellian turns in his couch in surprise. "After only a day? You must be antsier than I am. Then again, I forget... we're going to rendezvous with a Sith battleship -- not something you've ever done before. All right. What do you have in mind?"

Zero says, "I'm not nervous, Fhazil; I'm bored. Let's go spar or something."

Fhazil nods, "Sure. Not much else to do here except watch the stars go by. I'll set the computer up to yell at us if something goes wrong."

Zero says, "All right. I'll go make some room out in the common area."

A few minutes later, Fhazil comes out of the cockpit into the commons, carrying Black Destroyer. Zero's moved most of the furniture back, as far as it can go and still be locked down. He's set the Kawatuara on his lap, and is taking off his boots. "Funny, you know... seems empty in here without the Master, and there's still four of us in here." He takes off his jacket and unties his sash as well. He's wearing the funny little Sedraki split-toe socks under his boots, and as he stands he says, "I think I'm going to try a slightly varied style."

Fhazil glances over curiously to Zero as he strips down to his trousers. "Oh? What are you going to try?

Zero says, "I'm sure you've noticed by know that I've been using both hands as the starting point for most of my striking motions. That's fairly standard for most of the staff forms I'm familiar with. I tend to use Shengsu-style staff form because that's what I learned first... but that also assumes a real staff. That is, a weapon that has weight along its entire length."

Fhazil nods as he stands, doing some stretches. "Mmm, yeah. Which Kawatuara doesn't have."

Zero nods, "Precisely. I think I may be limiting myself. That's never a good thing." He grins a little. "Well. Hrrajak may have thought it was. But he did a pretty good job of limiting me with a bleeding scalp wound."

Fhazil nods, rolling his shoulders as he takes a position across from Zero. "So, what would you like to try, then? I'm more than willing to help."

Zero picks up the Silver Defender and holds it at its center directly in front of him. His other hand he holds back somewhat for counterbalance. "Believe it or not, I'm given to understand this is a common style in the Empire."

The Corellian grins a bit and nods, spreading his feet slightly and bringing Korotatinea into a two-handed ready position. "Well, with people who use double-bladed weapons. Started with twin-daggers, actually."

Zero hms. "Interesting. Well, it wouldn't hurt for me to think in new terms. I've been treating this weapon as a regular staff... that's not fair to it or myself, really." He lowers his stance just a little. "Ready?"

Fhazil nods, igniting his saber in a whispering, crimson arc. "Ready when you are!"

Zero grins and ignites Kawatuara with a twist, "Here we go, then -- sah!" He turns once, bringing the blades under and past himself, whipping himself into the air on his own momentum, bringing his foot down in the broad sailing arc of a jumping kick.

Fhazil did not expect hand-to-hand. He blinks briefly before tucking down below the kick and rolling, keeping the saber away from his body while doing so. He knows he telegraphed that move and so is not worried Zero won't block it when he comes up to a kneeling position, bringing Korotatinea around to strike at his side.

Zero grins and guides the crimson saber along his side with the leading blade of the staff, letting the rotation bring the trailing one down for the attack, to force a little breathing room. "That's the problem with flashy leaping maneuvers, you know? Once you go, you're committed. It's not as if you can go backwards in midair."

Fhazil grins. "Yes, but it gets their attention!" He draws back from the downward-sweeping blade, returning his to a ready position before doing a pair of feints to Zero's shoulders, then reversing the blade and swinging it in a short arc towards Zero's midriff.

Zero inclines his head, "Yes... that it does. And one thing I've noticed-" He takes a step back and gives the Kawatuara several spinning passes around himself, even going so far as to switch hands in passing, filling the entire common area with silver-blue luminescence as it deflects the attack, "-is that two-bladed sabers are extremely good at being flashy."

The blade comes to a stop in Zero's left hand, held across his body and slightly out, the lower blade guarding his high line and the upper blade rather obliquely out in the air over his shoulder. Either he's showing off, or he's leaving his low line deliberately open.

Fhazil laughs quietly, drawing back a little and making a little applause gesture. "Yes, they're great for that. But if I recall you can do something besides just keep those blades together." He doesn't go for the obvious opening, making just barely enough effort to make a feint for it before reversing the direction of the swing and sending the blade winging for Zero's armpit-level.

Zero reverses his grip on the staff, swinging it down and across, stepping wide as he does to move inside the attack. "So I can," he agrees. "Let's see if it works. Stop." His free hand slides down to just inside Fhazil's wrist. At the same time he envisions the meridians; the myriad nerve points and channels through which the Force is said to flow through a living Human's body... and attempts as he does so to touch the Force, to exhibit a single, hair-fine pressure on a specific one... one of a dozen in the hand. He's not sure if he's got it or not...

Fhazil's hand twitches but he manages (just barely) to hold on to Korotatinea, despite the blade wavering dangerously close to the both of them. "Aiiiya! Gods below, Zero -- careful! I nearly dropped it! What did you do there?"

Zero blinks. "Oh, stang -- did I hurt you?" He extinguishes his saber. This is generally regarded as bad form for dueling purposes, but under the circumstances Zero considers it somewhat unlikely Fhazil is in any condition to take unfair advantage.

Fhazil extinguishes his own saber, shaking his head as he rubs his wrist. "No, no, not at all! I was just worried that the saber was going to do something bad when I lost control of my hand like that."

Zero scratches the back of his head. "Wow. It really did work. Huh!"

"What were you trying to do?"

Zero grins and walks back to the chair where he's left his clothes. He picks up the small book he was looking at, "Here, have a look." The book, written in Basic but illustrated with several reproductions of obviously very old manuscripts annotated in Sedraki, at a glance has something to do with the flow of the Force through a living (near) Human body.

Fhazil has a look at the book, paging through it. "That's surprising. I can see why the Jedi don't teach it, though, since it's really specialized. Looks like you'd only be able to do that trick on another Human."

Zero says, "Part of my martial arts training back home dealt with this. Meridians, they're called; points at which the Force in a Human body can be manipulated. They usually correspond to nerve clusters and pressure points. Certain grappling styles teach a reliance on manipulating them, and back home there's a branch of folk medicine that uses thin needles or pressure to do so."

"I was just thinking... if we can use the Force to exert pressure on a living being's organs, why use it to crush the life out of them -- when it would be more useful and just as easy to paralyze their hand or arm, or disarm them? And from a martial artist's point of view, why get so close you have to grapple, when you could do it from afar?"

He grins ruefully, "I suspect the Jedi don't teach it because they're afraid it would be abused. I've heard, though I've never seen, rumors that some of the old masters of the medicinal practice know some pretty insidious ways to hurt or kill with the same technique."

Fhazil murmurs dryly, "Something I imagine they really want to keep quiet."

Zero says, "They and the Jedi both, I would imagine, yes."

He nods and hands the book back. "Though I can also see how disarming an opponent that way would be good. Unless they're carrying a lightsaber without a deadman's switch..."

Zero says, "I actually didn't intend for you to drop it; I was hoping to stop you from moving your forearm at all." He grins sheepishly, "I'm, ah, a bit rusty on my pressure points. I think I may've touched the wrong meridian, or maybe used too much pressure... I'm sorry about that, really."

"Oh, no, it's all right! Like I said, I was more worried about dropping the saber on us than anything. Or dropping it at all -- I'd rather not cut into the waste reclamation tank..."

Zero makes a face. "Tch. Got that right." He grins, "We already saw what happened to me the last time I tried to bleed it."

Fhazil laughs, not unsympathetically. "Well, worse could have happened, at least. By then it was all monatomic dust."

Zero grins a little, "Yeah, well... I still feel like I need to shower just thinking about that. It was like standing way too close to a Tusken." He picks up his clothes from the chair. "Speaking of which... a shower might not be a bad idea right now anyway."

Fhazil nods, grinning. "I don't blame you. I'll join you. Thanks for the workout."

Zero nods, "My pleasure. Sorry about your hand. So... shower, then you wanna go wait for Freyja?" He grins.

Fhazil says, "Ah, no problem. I'm just glad we didn't lose any limbs. Sure, sounds good to me."

Some short time later finds them in Freyja's quarters, among the strewn pillows and the low bed. Zero is perched at one end of the bed trying with only marginal success to light another pyramid of the incense. "It's funny, you know... how we hang onto our cultures in spite of ourselves and the big galaxy we live in..."

Fhazil is stretched out on the bed, his own trio of candles already lit as he grins, watching Zero manage with the pyramid. "Well, it's part of identity, I suppose. Same reason it's considered polite to introduce someone as, say, 'Eneri Antilles of Corellia,' or such."

Zero mms, "It's odd, you know, but as the Jedi Order gets more organized, it seems the less they're interested in that identity. Have you noticed? There are some books out there about the original Order of Jedi Knights, back when it was just a few scattered wanderers. Some real wild stories, you know?"

He gets the little block of fragrance lit finally, and lies down on his stomach next to Fhazil, folding his arms under his chin. "I heard while I was at the Temple that they don't want any Jedi Knights to marry now, without special dispensation of the Council." He smiles crookedly over at Fhazil, "Can you imagine what they'd say to this arrangement?"

Fhazil's brows shoot up. "They're going to have a lot of argument from the Jedi who are married over that."

Zero laughs softly, "That's what I thought. Seems like everything's changing these days. The Order, the Republic... even the Empire."

"Well, things change. If everything was static there wouldn't be much point to conflict and strife, or to growth, for that matter."

Zero says, "I'm wondering, though, if it's all for the better. Is it best to submerge yourself so completely in an ideology? I can understand one's loyalty being first and foremost to the Order... any fighting order expects that of you. But to give up so completely on your emotions..." He chews his lip absently, thinking. "That doesn't seem good for you. Where I'm from, one of the bigger religions teaches about not letting your emotions dictate actions. Same thing as the Jedi, right? But a lot of people new to that faith, kids and converts mostly, they seem to think that means you can't have any emotions. But the monks always tell you no, that's not what they really mean..."

Fhazil sits up, stretching a little. "I'm not going to say the Sith are any better," he says quietly. "There are always going to be zealots -- the people who take a good idea too far, who misunderstand it and still run with it. Any ideology is going to have that."

Zero rolls over on his side to face Fhazil. "Well, what I mean is... they say that desire is not inherently wrong. If you get hungry and you eat, that's not a sin. That'd be ridiculous. It's wrong to let your desires control you... to let them dictate for you. It just seemed to me like... the Order doesn't trust anyone enough to judge for themselves. Like they're saying just having a desire is incorrect somehow."

Fhazil gives a little bit of a grin. "Actually, the proper Sith teachings aren't all that different. A lot of people think the Sith way is to let go of all inhibitions -- just give in to rage and hate and violence. It's not that; it's about letting your desires lead you to where you need to go, but keeping them reined in. Like you wouldn't go breaking the speed of sound in a landspeeder -- that's just stupid, especially in a city. Some landspeeders can do that, though. Doesn't mean you always have to, no matter how powerful it makes you feel."

Zero grins a little. "Funny how we're all moderates in our respective ideologies... and we're all doing something that would probably get us tossed out by the orthodox members of our orders."

"Well... thinking about it, yeah, I can't imagine the Dark Lord would be too overly pleased with me, at that!" Fhazil tilts his head to the side, looking to Zero. "Does it bother you that we're all heterodox, at the very least?"

Zero smiles, "Not at all, actually." He scratches his head. "Truthfully? I always was heterodox. I mean... it's not often that washed-up ex-killers get to be Jedi. But that's maybe not a bad thing. I think really at this point I belong to the Zhar tradition rather than the Order of Jedi Knights... and by that standard I suppose I'm doing pretty well." He smiles a little more, affectionately. "What about you? How do you feel about all this?"

Fhazil moves his legs cross-legged, and shakes his head. "I'm not too sure, really. Angry, a little, at the Calefactors for bringing all this about. Even angrier at the Senate for letting this all happen; they're supposed to be watching the Jedi closely, and yet they let some cabal of zealots step in. But it's not all bad. This whole chain of events brought us three together, after all. I know that Lord Ghang would have preferred I stayed with him. I think he was grooming me and Vakkal to be his generals. But... it just feels like the best way to go, you know? I've never been one to do the whole dark image, saying that anger and fear are the ways to power and so forth. My time on Zhar even proved it: there's just as much to be found in joy and love as there is in anger and fear."

Zero nods quietly. "I suppose it was just a matter of what felt right for me too. I'd been looking my entire life for something to do with it, before Marnaas." He grins absently, scratching the back of his head. "Seems like life changed for all of us back there." He pauses, then smirks over at Fhazil, "Stang do I hate that planet."

Fhazil chuckles softly. "It... won't exactly be my favorite place for a while yet. But it did bring me into your lives."

Zero says, "Actually, speaking of that... I'm kind of curious. How do you feel about... well, us?"

Fhazil is thoughtful. "Well... I've been giving that a lot of thought, actually. We've been through a lot, ever since we met up again on Commenor and weren't pointing blasters or beam-lances or the Force at one another. I came to care about Freyja a lot there, and the time on Zhar... well. I love Freyja. And I love you, too, in a similar way. I trust you both with... heh, well, with everything. I think what you're doing is the right thing. That, and how I feel about you both... how could I not help?"

Zero smiles quietly. "I have to admit, I preferred our less violent meeting." He leans over and curls one arm gently around Fhazil, "I care a lot about you too. I love you both very much; I don't want to see anything else happen to any of us." He pauses, leaning back again suddenly, "Uh... I'm sorry, maybe I should have asked first... was that okay?"

Fhazil snorts a bit, laughing as he puts his own arm around Zero. "No. It was fine. Nothing wrong at all."

Zero smiles and leans back against Fhazil's side. "All right. It'd be bloody stupid of me to say I didn't want anything to happen to us and then end up making you uncomfortable." He leans his head against Fhazil's shoulder.

Fhazil smiles quietly, putting his other arm up across Zero's chest, his own head resting lightly against the Graysider's. "No... I'm not uncomfortabe. Far from it."

Freyja steps through the door, her face rapt in thought. She pauses, regarding the two men she cares for most in all the universe, there together before her... and like the sun rising through a cloudy and uncertain morn, her face lights up with quiet, shining joy. Zero smiles a little and opens one eye. He murmurs, "Hey.... started to think you weren't coming..."

Freyja's laugh ripples softly as she slips off her top and slides smoothly onto the bed. Her voice is gently teasing, "You've never worried about that before, Zeriza!"

Zero smirks. "Mmhmm. I'd normally not let that slide... but somehow I don't feel like getting up. Why don't you come down here and join us instead?"

Freyja stretches out like a catta, rubbing herself with quiet content against both her beloveds, and purrs softly, "Thought you'd never ask... mmm, I must be the most fortune-blessed woman in all the universe!" She sighs happily, laying her head against Fhazil, her long, silky fall of hair trailing ticklingly along his side.

Zero smiles and closes his eyes again, reaching out to gently brush his fingertips along her side. "I think we'd all agree we're very lucky people."

Fhazil grins quietly and makes room for Freyja, nodding. "Very, very lucky."

Freyja's Force view of herself can be felt as much as seen by her paramours, as the three of them slowly blend and flow in and around each other -- a golden fire taking whatever shape seems to fit the moment. Sometimes a humanoid woman, sometimes a bird with gently-enclosing wings of flame, sometimes a swirling serpent arching a protective head over them... but always, always the fire warms, cheers, and caresses. There is no burning in her thoughts of her beloveds... just a desire to share, to protect, to love as thoroughly and completely as she is capable of.

Zero is not always clear or distinct, but he is always there: a silvery half-shadow or a misty haze that drifts through and around and among them. No matter the changes or configuration, he's always close to them both, protecting, watching, and guarding the two people in whom his whole life is invested and without whom he cannot even begin to imagine himself.

Fhazil's essence is a shadow, a darkness -- but not the chilly shadows of night. Rather it is warm and close, comforting and concealing like a warm blanket in a chilly winter; a blanket shared by lovers... or the warm, balmy nights of summer, where not even the dew gathering on the grass can bring a chill. Gathered with the flame and the mist, he has no fear of being burned by the Light or lost to Darkness. He knows only the warmth of the others, their presence within the Force, by him physically and in his heart.

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Last modified: 2002-Jul-16 16:14:54

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